The Order of the Redeemed by Warren Cain

Author:Warren Cain
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2019-04-17T16:00:22+00:00

Chapter 31

Kirk sat at the small table in the corner of his kitchen flipping the business card across the fingers of his left hand.

This can’t be right. But how did he know? Who was he?

He wanted to believe he could live like he did before the accident. He had come to envy people who had never allowed themselves to stumble and cause themselves guilt.

What if I could go through one day and not think about it? One day. Just go to my usual day of work or enjoy my time off with no thought of the accident or the people I hurt. Sarah, would it be okay if I didn’t think about you for a little while?

What if I do let go? Does that mean I don’t love you anymore, Sarah, or that I just forgot about you? I can’t just give up the way I feel about you . . . I mean, felt about you.

Man, I don’t even know if I’m talking to me or Sarah. I guess she’s not alive anymore. I need to stop trying to talk to her.

And what about the people I hurt? Don’t they deserve for me to feel guilty about what I’ve done? Isn’t it an injustice for them if I move on?

They don’t have any intention of forgiving me. Do I deserve their forgiveness? Hell, do I deserve forgiveness from myself?

Maybe I’ll never get their forgiveness, but at least I can try to forgive myself.

The factory he worked for had a policy of one week’s notice for taking vacation, so Kirk still had a week to decide before he was able to leave Washington. By the week’s end, he had decided to take the trip.

Five days of vacation, so I’ll have to be back by Monday.

Friday, after work, he loaded up his small car with the provisions he felt he would need to make the twenty-hour trip. As the miles passed, Kirk’s mind was racing. His thoughts went from being redeemed, to the certainty there was nothing in South Dakota but a hoax. This idea had been in the back of his mind but did not come to the front until he crossed the Washington–Idaho state line.

There may not even be anything at this address. What if it’s someone’s house who doesn’t know what the heck I’m talking about? I’m just going to fill up with gas at this convenience store and turn around and head back for home.

I can show up at work on Monday and save my vacation for later. This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done.

I guess sometimes when you want something bad enough you don’t question it fully.

Kirk pulled around the gas station after filling up and grabbing a cup of coffee. At the exit to the gas station stood a large man holding a sign Kirk was certain would say, “Will work for food.” Kirk reached into his wallet to pull out a dollar. He had trouble sleeping when he went by these guys without giving them something.

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